So many places… how do I find the time?

Dear Ron:

Holidays are a struggle for me. My boyfriend and I can never agree on where to spend our time. He doesn’t mind splitting the day between my family and his, but I am tired of the rushing and the traveling. Holidays are supposed to be fun and relaxing, and lately I have been feeling just the opposite. He says that we just have to deal with it, but I would like to come up with a different solution. Any thoughts?

Unfortunately, holidays can go from carefree to stressful pretty quickly. I can see the benefits of both your boyfriend’s and your preferences. It really comes down to compromise. There are several major holidays in the course of a year and you may have to sit down with your boyfriend and split up the responsibilities. For example, perhaps you will be in charge of Thanksgiving and ultimately it will be your choice if the day is split between both families or spent with just one. Compromise is typically one of the key features of a healthy and happy relationship and so it is important to come to terms with the fact that you will have to be willing to do things your partner’s way once in a while. It can also be helpful to see the experience in a different way to make it more enjoyable. Instead of anticipating that holidays split between two families will be nothing but a hassle, think about the fun parts! Making two families happy! Double dessert! Your attitude will play a big role in whether the day is a success or a struggle!


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Ask Ron Villano

Ron Villano, M.S., LMHC, ASAC is the leading expert in working through change. As a father who lost his 17-year old son in an auto accident, he always speaks from the heart. As a licensed mental health counselor he guides others on how to work through difficult times. As a national speaker and author of The Zing, Ron has appeares on TV and radio throughout the world. Visit to listen to his featured interviews and grab some exciting tips and tools for Loving the Life you Live!

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