I am a single mom of 2 young boys, ages 11 and 9. Since school started last month my house has been in total chaos. It seems like everything I ask my boys to do becomes an argument. From keeping their rooms clean to doing homework, everything is a battle. How can I take back control of my home without being the “bad guy?”
— Stressed Mom
“I am always late. I’m late to work. I’m late to appointments. I’m even late to social events. I get lost in whatever I’m doing and lose track of time. I always seem to think I have more time than I actually do. This has become a real issue for me at work and with family and friends. I have lost both jobs and relationships in the past because of this. I could really use some time-management tips! Thanks!”
Good time-management skills can be difficult to develop. Time-management requires two things – being realistic and prioritizing. Think about the tasks that MUST get done and be sure to give yourself more than enough time to complete them. Those who are chronically late sometimes struggle with leaving tasks unfinished. Typically this leaves them feeling rushed and stressed. Don’t be afraid to leave in the middle of a chore or activity in order to make it somewhere on time. The chore will still be there when you get back, but you cannot undo showing up late. Be realistic about travel time and set deadlines. You will be amazed at how different it feels to show up early or on time versus late and disoriented.
Holidays are a struggle for me. My boyfriend and I can never agree on where to spend our time. He doesn’t mind splitting the day between my family and his, but I am tired of the rushing and the traveling. Holidays are supposed to be fun and relaxing, and lately I have been feeling just the opposite. He says that we just have to deal with it, but I would like to come up with a different solution. Any thoughts?
Unfortunately, holidays can go from carefree to stressful pretty quickly. I can see the benefits of both your boyfriend’s and your preferences. It really comes down to compromise. There are several major holidays in the course of a year and you may have to sit down with your boyfriend and split up the responsibilities. For example, perhaps you will be in charge of Thanksgiving and ultimately it will be your choice if the day is split between both families or spent with just one. Compromise is typically one of the key features of a healthy and happy relationship and so it is important to come to terms with the fact that you will have to be willing to do things your partner’s way once in a while. It can also be helpful to see the experience in a different way to make it more enjoyable. Instead of anticipating that holidays split between two families will be nothing but a hassle, think about the fun parts! Making two families happy! Double dessert! Your attitude will play a big role in whether the day is a success or a struggle!